The Hengiest Biscuit World Record Attempt by 100% Kitten

Have you ever wondered what the world's hengiest biscuit is? Spacefish did, and so did I. With the use of a very bad camera and a bottle of high quality booze I decided to investigate, and set up the world biscuit henginess championship to decide once and for all. It would be a hard-fought contest for the ultimate title, and the dramatic unfolding of events at the final battle was no let down. Whilst favourites like the Chocolate bourbon confidently assumed that deliciousness was all, paying scant attention to presentation, the prize was stolen by the outsider, that with the least to offer in gustatory pleasure, but the most to gain from the prestige title.

Chocolatebourbonhenge - Despite being the most delicious of the henges, judges felt that the chocolate cream filling was too ostentatious for a place of worship

Figrollhenge - Having complimented the fig roll on it's sturdy appearance and spiritual filling, the judges then dealt a cruel blow by declaring that there are not nearly enough fig rolls in a packet to be a worthy monument.

CustardCreamHenge - Perhaps overconfident, the custard cream's signature chunky textured surface was judged to appear too uniform and commercial for the worship of the ancient god Ra.

Stonehenge - The traditional favourite in the pagan pops was swiftly dismissed by the panel who described it as passe, inedible and overrun with tourists.

The pink wafer was the ousider from the second it announced it's candidature. Thought to be crumbly, unstable and garish, in fact the wafers managed to use all these traits in their favour. One judge described the construction as "A dignified, noble structure, embracing contemporary values and looking positively to the future, whilst upholding the majestic greatlitude and history befitting the henge tradition". The measured crumbliness was considered to be an asset by the judges, feeling less manufactured than the other attempts and complimenting the biscuits' instability exquisitely. These qualities were noted by the judges as being befitting of an ancient monument, although this made the construction difficult, the judges could only admire the perseverance and grit displayed by Team Wafer. Finally, the colour. Traditionally regarded as 'childish' or 'girly', the judges whole-heartedly welcomed this brave step, recognising it as a bold attempt to welcome modern cultural diversity, smash down gender barriers and show a new side to the ancient monument.